Glimpses of God

For a long time, I rarely listened to Christian-labeled music outside of church services. I just didn’t like most of the songs I heard on the radio that were of that type of label. It’s not that I didn’t like the spiritual messages in the songs; I just didn’t like the musical composition. Most of what I had heard of Christian-labeled music seemed kind of cheesy to me, other than Lifehouse songs (but they were considered more of a crossover band) and some Celtic music. However, over the past year or so I’ve discovered some Christian artists that I really enjoy listening to: Switchfoot, Waterdeep, Derek Webb, Caedmon’s Call, and Sandra McCracken immediately come to mind. I especially love Sandra McCracken. She rocks.

Even though I’m getting more into the world of non-cheesy Christian music, I still love many non-Christian-labeled bands and artists and feel that I can be inspired by their music as well. I recently read an article on christianmusictoday.com about how they think there can be a spiritual theme in some popular music outside of the Christian music label. They said these types of songs offer “glimpses of God.”

After doing a quick run-through of my music library, I noticed that many songs could be applied to the spiritual life, even if that wasn’t what the writer may have intended. I also noticed something about love songs in relation to a book I recently read: The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis. That book totally messed with my head, in a good way, and also convicted me in some ways. I actually posted about it last week, but then removed the post a day later because I felt I was getting ahead of myself and hadn’t thought my response through enough.

Anyway, after listening to a few of the love songs in my music library, I realized how the messages of these songs definitely apply to the Eros version of love that Lewis describes. Many of these songs express a love that was probably written about another person, but the lyrics could be applied to love given to or received from God as well. And, in my opinion, the Eros love expressed in some of these songs would be best applied to God, rather than to another person. For example, the “I can’t live without you,” type of love song. Or the “you complete me” message (Jerry McGuire, anyone? I heart Tom Cruise. Not really).

So, if these songs were to be (re)interpreted as directing the love message to God, some of them would actually make pretty good worship songs. This is from my completely subjective interpretation, of course. On the other hand, some of them would make for rather creepy or awkward worship songs. . . . I guess the spiritual theme can’t be applied to every song, but it’s interesting to think about popular music through that perspective.

Here are just a few of the songs from my music library (that aren’t on a Christian label) that I think might have a spiritual theme to them, or potentially could if reinterpreted that way:

• Call and Answer, by the Barenaked Ladies
• Warning Sign, by Coldplay
• Yellow, by Coldplay
• Cold Water, by Damien Rice
• Cannonball, by Damien Rice (it was amazing to see him sing this song live)
• Soul Meets Body, by Death Cab for Cutie
• Your Heart is an Empty Room, by Death Cab for Cutie (could the “empty room” be part of Avila’s Interior Castle? Okay, that may be a bit of a stretch…)
• Help! by the Beatles
• In My Life, by the Beatles
• Let it Be, by the Beatles (yes, I like the Beatles.)
• You Never Give Me Your Money, by the Beatles (a good song for Tithe Sunday. Just kidding.)
• Bring Me to Life, by Evanescence
• Wonderwall, by Oasis
• I Want You to Be My Love, by Over the Rhine
• Drunkard’s Prayer, by Over the Rhine
• Open Your Eyes, by Snow Patrol
• Run, by Snow Patrol

And a whole bunch of songs by U2, but I won’t take the time to list them all. I was hoping I could get a Weezer song in there, but they don’t seem to be all that spiritual.

EDiT: I retract my above comment about Weezer. I forgot about the album Make Believe, which has some spiritual/soul-searching undertones on some of its songs (not Beverly Hills).

Getting outside

You know what's really fun? Being out until 1 a.m., and then forgetting to turn your alarm off so it wakes you up five hours later and you can't get back to sleep. That's super-fun!! So, I apologize if this post is somewhat incoherent...

Last weekend I volunteered at a benefit concert called Justice Jam, which raised money for Justice for Children International (JFCI). It was a great turnout, and I was glad to give some of my time and money to this cause. It's wonderful that COR has the facilities and resources to host such an event. Between bands, there was a speaker from JFCI who talked about what we were there for - to help put an end to child sex trafficking. His speech is now uploaded on the Justice Jam site, so go check it out if you missed it. (Update: I wasn't able to get the audio to work for the speech when I tried to play it today - it only played a few seconds, so I'm hoping that will be resolved soon.) It's not easy to hear, but it is important.

During the show, I was collecting donations for newcomers outside in the lobby area, so I didn't get to be in there to hear what he said. One of my friends came out during that time and seemed upset. He had already seen the video from JFCI earlier that day, and he told me that it was too heartbreaking for him to see again. I agreed with him that it is heartbreaking to know about this, but it's better than being ignorant about it. And it's good that we care and are at least trying to do something positive to raise awareness and help put an end to it. I can definitely understand why he was upset, though. It would be weird if it didn't bother him.

Things like this remind me how comfortable my suburban Midwestern life is, and how much I have to be thankful for on a day-to-day basis. For example, my biggest complaint today will probably be that I only got five hours of sleep, followed by a complaint about having allergies this time of year. That's it, really, yet I'm sure I will whine about it at some point today when I start to get tired. I just love it when I get like that. I've tried, with only mild success, to combat this tendency of mine to care and pay attention to only myself and my immediate surroundings. It's not easy, which is sad to admit, but it's true. One way I've attempted to do this is by having the picture of the girl I sponsor through World Vision at my desk at work. I think my coworkers are somewhat perplexed as to why I have a picture of an African child amongst the other photos of my (very white) family. However, I have her picture there to remind me of several things throughout the day:

1) There are people in the world that need our attention/awareness and support, even though it's hard for me to imagine what their lives must be like because all I've ever known is this privileged Johnson County life.

2) As I'm working, it reminds me that a small part of my paycheck is going to her each month, and this reminds me to be a good steward of my resources, which includes the money I earn.

3) Her picture also reminds me to be a witness to the beauty and love of God. Let me explain that one a little further. . . I signed up to sponsor a child during Lent last March, as part of my almsgiving. I had been wanting to do this for quite a while, but I made the excuse that I couldn't afford it until after school. Well, that was a pretty flimsy excuse for me because it really isn't that much to give each month and I could already afford it if I budgeted for it. Now, to go back a little further, I started this blog a couple months before that. I didn't really want to start this blog, to be honest. It scares me and makes me feel really uncomfortable (and still does, actually) to be so open about my faith because it's so important to me and so personal. Not like that many people read it, but still . . . I don't particularly enjoy feeling this vulnerable. However, I felt the need to do this because I couldn't think of anything else that I would rather write about. I'd rather have what I write be meaningful, yet scary, than superficial, yet safe. At the time, I was also trying to challenge myself to be more of a witness, thus the name of my url for this ("make me a witness"), and up until that point I hadn't been much of a witness at all. Okay, so back to Lent and signing up for a sponsor child. When I went to their Web site, there's a link on the homepage that says something like "sign up for a sponsor child by clicking here." I hate to admit this, but I was still semi-debating if I should sign up at the time or wait until after I was out of school. Through my hesitation, I clicked on the link, and there she was. I then looked at her name: Witness. Still gives me chills to this day. There are thousands of children that need sponsors, and the site randomly generates a different one of these children to come up each time. So, some people may say it's just a coincidence, and maybe it is, but I tend to feel differently about this particular instance.

Okay, that was a really long bullet-point. Oops. The "Witness" story is one I was hesitant to write about when it happened last March. I didn't want to appear to be showing off that I had just signed up for a sponsor child or trying to get attention for it, so I didn't write about it. However, it was a pretty awesome moment for me, and I don't give that much each month so it isn't really something for me to brag about, anyhow. I could be doing a lot more. Thus, I hope my telling this doesn't come across that way. I've got to get going here pretty soon, so I'll wrap things up on that note.

Everything Must Change

I'm considering going to this tour when it's in KC next April. Haven't decided for sure yet, but I have read a couple of his books and found them to be fairly interesting (in a good way).

I just realized how cheesy my photoshopped pic from the previous post looks. Awesome. It's staying.

Pergamum

I don’t really think about snakes too often, being that I rarely encounter the things in my day-to-day life. This week, however, has been a different story. There has been a very distinct snake theme going on for me the past few days.

The most recent snake-related event happened tonight and the night before. Heather called me last night and told me that a snake had somehow gotten into the laundry room in her basement. It had crawled across her foot when she was trying to do laundry and, understandably, freaked her out. She bought some sticky-matt trap things, but asked if I could come over and help her lay them on the floor. So, I gladly went over to help her out, and I even got a peek of the little guy while he was coiled up in the back corner. (She thought he was big, but I can’t really make fun of her for that, considering my irrational fear of bees). He stuck out his forked little tongue a few times and I kept my distance, but he seemed pretty harmless. He didn’t even offer me an apple to bite into.

I felt reasonably safe as long as I could see him and was far enough away from him. We went back a couple of minutes later, though, to put down some more traps, and he wasn’t in the same spot. We didn’t know where he had gone and I wasn’t particularly interested in searching high and low for him, considering I didn’t feel so safe now that I couldn’t see him. We quickly put down the rest of the traps and got out of there.

Tonight, after getting dinner with a couple of friends, I noticed that I had a voicemail from Heather. I called her and she kept me on the phone while she went into the laundry room to check the traps we had laid down the night before. As it turns out, the traps worked. The snake was stuck to one of them and couldn’t move. Now she just had to pick up the trap and get the snake out of the house. This is not as easy as it sounds, though – the trap was just a small piece of 5” x 10” paper with sticky glue on top . . . oh yeah, and it had a snake stuck to it. A pissed-off snake. So, I ended up stopping by her house to help out. I was curious to see what it looked like up close, anyway. It took some teamwork on our part, and a few ubergirly moments of squealing and running away from it when it stuck its tongue out, but we finally got the thing out of the house and safely sequestered into a sealed trash bag outside. I felt kind of bad for the little guy, but I think I’ve had my fill of snake-encounters for the week.

This snake theme began even earlier in the week, however, with the second part of my study about Revelation, along with a sermon at FL about the same thing. Here’s what this has to do with snakes: In Revelation 2:12-17, John wrote to the church in Pergamum, where many people in the city worshiped false gods and had an altar to Zeus. Many in the city also worshiped Asclepius, the god of healing, whose symbol was the serpent. There were temples where people who wanted healing would lay surrounded by sacred snakes that they thought would cure them. People came to Pergamum from all over the world for this reason – to seek healing from snakes. Hang out in a pit of snakes? I can’t imagine what ailment that would heal, other than constipation, perhaps. That would certainly scare the crap out of me.

These “sacred” snakes in Pergamum became idols to people who were desperately seeking healing. Instead of turning to God for healing, they lay among live snakes they thought represented the false god, Asclepius. That may seem absurd, and at first I snickered about how silly those people were to do such a thing. But, the thing is, we still do it today. In hopes of healing and soothing things such as loneliness, fear, bitterness, emptiness, etc, people today still turn to “sacred snakes” like addiction, the quest for the “perfect” body or the “perfect” relationship, acquiring more and more possessions, the approval of others, and the list goes on.

I know I’ve been guilty of this. I’ve learned the hard way that it is counterproductive for me to put anything or anyone before God, in hopes that this thing or this person will make me happy and whole. It just doesn’t work. Even though I know this, I still struggle sometimes, and the temptation to turn to something other than God can slither its way back into my consciousness. It seems fairly harmless and small at first, especially when it’s not as close, kind of like the little garden snake in the basement. But all it takes is one little compromise. One little bite.

On being decisive

As part of our girls' night entertainment, some of my friends and I took a personality test recently. It was something about “true colors” and it turns out I’m a green, followed by blue. I also took the myers briggs test a couple of years ago, and I retook it this weekend just to see if anything had changed (by the way, here’s that link I told some of you I’d post: free MB test) I’m still an infp (introverted-intuitive-feeling-perceiving), although I’m just barely on the feeling and perceiving side now, which means I’ve better balanced my thinking/feeling and judging/perceiving.

None of these labels can really completely define a person (and maybe it’s my personality type to not like labels), but it can be interesting to read about. My most recent roommates and I used to joke about our myers-briggs types because they were both judgers, whereas I’m a perceiver. They both like being judgers, too, which is quite the judger thing to do. Ha. I generally appreciate my perceiver quality, but sometimes it makes it really hard for me to make a final decision about certain things. This is where prayer tends to help – I don’t always trust my own judgment, but I do trust God’s. The only hitch is that, when I pray for guidance to follow God’s will, I ask for the guidance to be very clear so I don’t misinterpret it. And usually it is quite clear, once I pay attention, so I know I can trust that decision once it’s made.

So, anyway, a couple of months ago I had to make a very difficult decision. I’m not going to go into great detail here, being that this is a blog and all, but it turned out that I had two very good options to choose from, which actually made the choice much harder for me. I prayed about it a lot and, when I had to make a decision (this wasn’t something that could be put off very long), I felt confident that I had the proper guidance behind it. Even though I didn’t know exactly why, I had to trust that the path I chose was where I needed to be right now, for various reasons.

Well, something happened this past week that made me seriously question whether I made the right choice. I didn’t question God, really, I just questioned my own interpretation of God’s guidance: Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I misunderstood? Being in the middle of something makes it hard to see how and why this was what I needed to be doing. I started to wonder if the other path would have been better and safer for me. I started the “what if” mind game that rarely ever helps in situations like these. I tend to question everything, anyhow. So, does this signify a lack of faith on my part, or a healthy self-questioning? It’s hard to tell sometimes.

This particular trepidation lasted for about a half a day. I was able to put things into perspective, and a good nights’ sleep helped, although I’ve still had the occasional moments of doubt since then. Some good did result from this, however. It gave me the reality-check I needed that nothing on this earth is guaranteed to be permanent or secure. And, also, that what is meant to be a means-to-an-end for me can easily slip into becoming the end itself if I’m not careful and start to get too comfortable with the status quo. I don’t mean to sound cryptic here, but that’s about all the detail I can offer via this medium.

Anyhow, I know there’s something I’m called to be doing right now, yet I’ve been dragging my heels with it. I kind of feel like the lazy servant in the parable of the talents, if I were to take the interpretation that the servant who buried his talents (or didn’t fully invest them, if you will) was not being responsible with what he was given. So, what happened this past week gave me a little kick in the butt to get me moving with writing the B-word. No more “perceiving” if this is really something I need to be doing with my life, or if I’m really qualified to do such a thing, or if I’m just being delusional in thinking that I might actually be able to pull it off, or if I really want to make myself feel that vulnerable by writing to strangers about the most important and personal thing in my life (which is, of course, my faith…I’ve decided a pseudonym might be a good solution for this, but future-Liz can figure that out). I could come up with countless excuses to keep putting it off, but really there is no good excuse not to at least try. I’m no longer allowing myself to be lazy and, even more than that, doubtful and fearful…at least not when it comes to this.

Symbolic or literal?

I started a new study this week on the book of Revelation. The study book had some interesting insights, most of which I found to be accurate and informative. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter that I found particularly interesting:

The book of Revelation is unique in appealing primarily to our imagination – not, however, a freewheeling imagination, but a disciplined imagination. This book contains a series of word pictures, as though a number of slides were being shown upon a great screen. As we watch we allow ourselves to be carried along by impressions created by these pictures. Many of the details of the pictures are intended to contribute to the total impression, and are not to be isolated and interpreted with wooden literalism. (emphasis mine)

Okay, so, this may seem like an obvious conclusion to come to about the book of Revelation. It seems pretty clear that Revelation is full of symbolism, right? Or does it? Could it be that we are to literally interpret exactly what is described in Revelation? Maybe so. I'm open to being proved wrong, if that be the case. Wouldn't be the first time.

With that said, I happen to be someone who does not take a starkly literal, word-by-word interpretation of the Bible. To clarify further, I don’t think it’s always completely accurate to pluck a verse out of a book in the Bible, interpret it out of context from the verses before and after it that comprise the overall narrative of the book or section of the book, with no regard for who wrote it and to whom it was written and when, and use a bare interpretation based on the stand-alone and entirely literal meaning of those words in the isolated verse.

A few years ago, in a small group Bible study discussion, I walked into the room after returning from the bathroom and the group decided, since I had just walked into the room, that I was to be the first person to answer the next question in our study book (I don’t think anybody else wanted to answer it first…you know how that goes). The question was: “Do you take a literal interpretation of the Bible?”

I answered in one word: "No."

Simple enough, right? I thought that was an adequate reply. Apparently not. Yeah, I inadvertently set myself up for what became a lengthy theological discussion with another person in the room who vehemently disagreed with my answer. The discussion started out smoothly, and I was actually enjoying it. There's nothing wrong with two people respectfully discussing their differing perspectives. However, I think it was at the point when I said something about how I don’t see the theory of evolution as being in complete opposition to the Bible that I was then told that, and I quote, “You are what’s wrong with Christianity today, and you are not a true Christian.”

Because it had then resorted to putting me down, I promptly ended the debate with a simple, “Well, I disagree. Let’s just move on to the next question, shall we?” As compelling and critically thought-out an argument was the “You’re what’s wrong with Christianity” statement, somehow my mind wasn’t changed into always taking a literal interpretation. And, just for kicks, I didn't take literally what was said about me, either.

My perspective on this clearly annoys some people, I know, but I think it makes more sense than taking a verse or short passage and isolating it out of its larger framework of biblical truth in the story to which it contributes. I’m not saying that I think it’s wrong to quote scripture, though. Not at all. I do that myself at times, as evidenced by previous posts, but I try to avoid quoting scripture as a way to prove my point in certain instances where its meaning can be twisted around if taken at face value and out of context. I happen to find it obnoxious when people do that to me, but maybe that’s just how I roll.

So, anyway, back to Revelation. Here’s a few fun verses to take literally (sorry, I’m feeling a bit snarky tonight. Sometimes I can’t help it):

⁶ Then I saw a Lamb that looked as if it had been slaughtered, but it was now standing between the throne and the four living beings and among the twenty-four elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which represent the sevenfold Spirit of God that is sent out into every part of the earth. ⁷ He stepped forward and took the scroll from the right hand of the one sitting on the throne. ⁸ And when he took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people.
- Revelation 5:6-8, NLT

It's really a rather beautiful and poetic picture, isn't it? Seriously, that's some great imagery there.

And now for a cohesionless post

It has been quite the week at work, and I just got home after being in meetings all day. And I've been dealing with a nasty sinus infection all week, but it's finally clearing up. There is one highlight to my week, though, because I read an amazing book that was recommended to me by my friend Bridget: The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis. It's so good! I've read several of Lewis' books, but didn't get around to this one for some reason. I was missing out. And now I'm going to geek out and quote a couple of passages from it that I highlighted while reading:

'Hell is a state of mind - ye never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind - is, in the end, Hell. But Heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself. All that is fully real is Heavenly. For all that can be shaken will be shaken and only the unshakeable remains.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

'Love!' said the Tragedian striking his forehead with his hand: then, a few notes deeper, 'Love! Do you know the meaning of the word?'
'How should I not?' said the Lady. 'I am in love. In love, do you understand? Yes, now I love truly.'
'You mean,' said the Tragedian, 'you mean - you did not love me truly in the old days.'
'Only in a poor sort of way,' she answered. 'I have asked you to forgive me. There was a little real love in it. But what we called love down there was mostly the craving to be loved. In the main I loved you for my own sake: because I needed you.'
'And now!' said the Tragedian with a hackneyed gesture of despair. 'Now, you need me no more?'
'But of course not!' said the Lady; and her smile made me wonder how both the phantoms could refrain from crying out with joy.
'What needs could I have,' she said, 'now that I have all? I am full now, not empty. I am in Love Himself, not lonely. Strong, not weak. You shall be the same. Come and see. We shall have no need for one another now: we can begin to love truly.'