Two for one

Not only have I decided to do National Novel Writing Month, but now I'm taking on National Blog Posting Month, too. They're both during the month of November, which starts in 2.27 hours. Bring it on!

Does this mean that I've officially lost my mind? It was bound to happen eventually...

Thus, for the month of November, I will be writing a 50,000-word book and posting on my blog every single day. Really, though, the 50K word count isn't that bad - it's a little under 1700 words per day, which only takes me about an hour to write. This is a very rough first draft, so I'm sure most of what I write will be total crap, but that's okay. It's about quantity, not quality... for the next 30 days, at least. I'll clean it up in the editing process (after November).

I'll be back tomorrow for my daily post, which will include my word count update. Woo-hoo!

Getting Celtic

One of the many, many reasons why I love FirstLight: we use a Celtic Cross, and, yesterday, Steven's sermon was about "getting Celtic," which emphasized part of the Celtic Christian belief that God is everywhere, and that all people are spiritual in some way, but also that there is something very important about Jesus and following Him. The sermon touched on the Celtic belief that evangelism is not about trying to prove people wrong or use guilt and fear to shame them. Instead, it involves treating people as individuals, not as random strangers who need to be preached at. Learn names, befriend, and simply enjoy time in fellowship and conversation without coming across as a high-pressure salesperson, or, even worse, by telling someone that they're going to go to Hell unless they become a Christian.

Yes, I have met and conversed with people who told me that the majority of their experiences with Christians were of being told that they were going to go to Hell. And, for some reason, being told that didn't seem to invoke in them a desire to become a Christian. Imagine that.

It grieves me that this is the impression of Christianity (and evangelism) that so many people outside of the church are getting. This beautiful faith -- the peace and grace and trust and love and adventure of following Jesus -- is being (mis)represented so destructively.

This needs to change. I know I can't change what other people do and say, though, and they have the freedom of speech to say such things. However, so do I. And I can continue to speak up and offer a different perspective of what it means to be a follower of Christ.

By saying that it's a beautiful faith, it doesn't mean I claim that it's simple, or that everything will magically change for the better overnight, or that following Jesus means I'm happy all the time and life is a cake walk, or that I never struggle with sin or doubt. That's just a bunch of crap, isn't it? Sugarcoating is fake and nauseating, so, no, I'm not suggesting that approach. I'll be the first to admit that it's not easy to follow Christ and there's definitely risk involved and it challenges me daily and oftentimes I stumble. Yet, I keep on trying, because I know it's the way I want to live, and there's growth and freedom with each step closer. That's part of what makes it so beautiful, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Another great part of the sermon: Steven talked about Saint Patrick, and how he's the patron saint of Ireland. He then said something about how it's a little known fact that Saint Patrick is also the patron saint of me Lucky Charms. I never realized...ha. Speaking of Ireland, I've been researching how much it would cost to go on a spiritual pilgrimage there. I've been wanting to go to Ireland for years, but now I might actually be able to afford it. Maybe. My first priority is paying off my student loans as quickly as possible (I have come to despise debt, so I definitely won't be "charging it" when I go), so it may be a year or so before I can save up enough to travel there. Even so, I'm enjoying the process of looking into it and exploring my options...

Then and now

First off, my prayers and concerns with those in southern California. Wow.

Not writing anything these past few days (other than at work) has not been easy. So now I'm going to write about not writing? Compelling stuff here. A little over a week to go. I can make it.

Okay, just a quick update: Thanks to Facebook, I recently got in touch with someone I took a class with in college way back in the day. He and I hung out a few times as part of a study group for that class, I think. This was back when I was 19 or 20, so it has been a while. Well, we got a chance to catch up a bit, and it turns out that he's been doing some amazing missional work here in the KC area. He and his wife have two kids, and their family is truly God-centered in their mission and service goals. How beautiful is that?

I also got an email recently asking me why I stopped blogging (referring to my old blog). For a while I was posting both on there and on here, because I thought that I should keep my faith-writings separate from my "everyday" stuff. Essentially, I was compartmentalizing God, which is absurd because God belongs at the center of all things, including my everyday stuff. Once I realized that was what I was doing, I decided to just post on here. This past weekend I read through some of my old posts on that blog, though, and it was interesting to see where I was in my faith and general outlook a couple of years ago, especially considering it was in the Fall, two years ago, that I was going through a major valley...but, my faith really deepened in the process of that.

However, the best part was reading the post I wrote one year ago. It included what are quite possibly the most profound sentences I have ever created: "I like monkeys and ninjas. I especially like monkeys that are trained to be ninjas."

Alas, some things never change.

Pursuit of happiness, part I

I use a planner at work. One of those binders with paper in it where you're supposed to have your schedule filled out or something. I'm so not an organized person by nature, but I kind of have to force myself to be for my job. I don't really know why I'm explaining this, though; it has little to do with the point of this post (yes, there is a point coming along here eventually). So, anyway, my planner has an "inspirational" quote for each day. Here's the quote from a few days ago:

"My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute." - Ayn Rand

This quote reminded me of something very important, and very profound: it reminded me that, a few years ago, I wasted at least five hours of my life reading The Fountainhead. Five precious hours that I will never get back. Aye.

I think this quote of hers is interesting, though, because it reflects a certain cultural attitude I've noticed (and even bought into at times) that being morally upright is equivalent to being happy. And, Rand asserts that this ideal of happiness is obtained through living only for the interest of self.

I can almost understand why Rand would hold this (flawed) philosophy: She came to the United States from a corrupt communist country that she found to be oppressive. In reaction to this, however, she went to the other extreme. Essentially, she asserted that each person is the god of his or her life, that altruism is false and dangerous, and that selfishness is a virtue. She also said that she was not a fan of religion and did not believe in a higher power.

The Fountainhead is one of the most popular books from the past century. In fact, Atlas Shrugged (also by Rand) and The Fountainhead ranked first and second place, respectively, on The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels list (based on an online vote of "avid readers"), which was published in The New York Times in 1998. Thus, more than 50 years after her books were published, Rand's philosophy still ranks high.

The Fountainhead was published in the 1940s, but what about a recently published book that has already sold millions, was endorsed by Oprah, and happened to quote scripture that, it claimed, supported a very similar view of happiness and self-interest? And, even further, claimed that you can have anything you want -- anything your heart desires! -- if you simply think positive thoughts and ignore the not-so-happy stuff in life. Yes, I'm talking about The Secret. Clearly it isn't just literary snobs who buy into this type of philosophy.

But what about Christians? Surely Christians wouldn't fall for and promote this idea that the meaning of life is to pursue cultural mandates of happiness, and that to be in any condition other than happiness is bad or wrong. I mean, Jesus wept, right? Jesus didn't say that, in order to be (or at least appear) virtuous, "You must always put on a happy face!" Instead, he spoke of the beatitudes. And, from what I recall of my bible readings, he didn't tell us that we could always have whatever we desired (my will be done?).

So, surely those who follow the teachings of Jesus would not promote such philosophies of selfishness. I mean, it's not like there's a popular Christian book that's like the philosophy of The Secret or anything. That would just be absurd.

Oh, wait. Oops.

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that it's noble to be miserable all the time, or anything like that. All of these books hold some semblance of truth: The Fountainhead shows how acts of "altruism" can sometimes be done for less-than-loving reasons, in which the person who is trying to help others is only doing so to feel better about himself, or because it gives him a sense of importance and feeling needed (Savior complex); and The Secret and Your Best Life Now are correct that a positive outlook can be beneficial, and that always expecting the worst is not the best attitude to have.

My problem with these books (and, in a broader sense, with the philosophy of happiness) is that they take small pieces of truth, mixed with delusions and appeals to self-interest, and contort it all into a provocative, but ultimately dangerous, conclusion. And this conclusion sounds so appealing, doesn't it? You mean to tell me that I can control everything that happens in my life so that I'll be endlessly happy? Woo-hoo!

I think the main issue is that our culture often fails to distinguish the difference between happiness and joy. I realize I'm not shedding any new light on this subject. I've heard many times that being happy and being joyful are not necessarily synonymous. And, Christians are called to be joyful. However, sometimes it's hard to grasp the difference between the two as I go about my day-to-day life. Sometimes it just seems like a matter of semantics.

So, what's the difference? And how does pursuing God's will fit into all of this?

To be continued . . . eventually (I'm sleepy).

Firm footing (and photoshop mashups)

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you
Does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always,
Though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me.
And you will never leave me to face my struggles alone.

— Thomas Merton