Day 11: Avoiding the pillar of salt

This week has been tough. Monday night was the last time I contributed anything substantial to my word count. That was also the last time (until today) that I spent any sort of substantial time or energy in prayer. Instead, I've been keeping myself "busy" this week. Distracted. Avoiding myself and the inevitable facing of reality (God).

Why?

Because I know, deep down, that certain things are changing in my life over which I have little control. I recognize that I am no longer the same person I used to be a year ago, or just a few months ago, actually. And I don't want to (and won't) turn back, but I pause in knowing that my continued steps forward disrupt things and leave an uncertainty that is uncomfortable to explore, or even acknowledge at times.

What is keeping me moving forward is this faith that, as long as I remain honest with myself and God, keep praying for His will, and repent whenever I start going down the wrong path (which I still do many times), my progress will continue to be God-centered and, therefore, good...but right now, it doesn't feel good. It feels scary.